i've been out in the front flower beds today. trying to be still. not very good at it. so while i am digging in the dirt and pulling weeds, the beloved rolly polly shows up. a couple of them. suddenly i am in albertville, alabama, outside the kitchen door in the flower beds at my aunt marjorie's house. i remember how as a little girl i was fascinated by these little crustaceans. don't know many children that are not. and fireflies.
and then He spoke to me. in the way that only He can...because He knows what speaks to me. the sudden calmness i felt as i travelled back in my heart to the comfort and security of aunt marjorie's and uncle orris' home was my perception alone. while i was busy in the flower garden playing with bugs, adults were inside worried. discussing with one another what was best for my future. they fretted and prayed over the fact that my parents were for whatever reason unable to "get it together" and take care of my brother and me. they were stressed. i was not. they were planning. i was just being. they didn't ask my opinion. they didn't even ask for a suggestion from me. they knew the best route was determined through prayer and discussion between grown folks. i hadn't a clue.
so today as i ponder the next place to put my foot down...as i struggle because i don't know what's next...God's not really asking my opinion. He is satisfied to allow me to play with the rolly pollies in my flower bed. i would just be in His way anyway. you see, i didn't even have enough where-with-all to know i needed help. i was just a child. it's a little different today. but God's not. the same God who helped my aunt and uncle make decisions for my life will help me and do what is best for me.
do you get what i am saying? cause i can't really put it down like it's resounding in my heart. as a child, i didn't even understand there was a concern. the direction for my life was being determined while i played in the flower bed. there was no effort in the trusting, it jus was.
Jay said "trust." is it any easier for you than it is for me? 'cause it's real tough right here right now.
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you Karen are a very wise person, I believe what ever you do it will be the right thing. You are so smart and have so much faith...My life has been nothing but a struggle from when I was a child and still is today. I try to have faith but it runs thin most of the time guess all works out in the end... I have lots of respect for you. my sister.
ReplyDeleteBe Still, Always Diffcult, Often Necessary
ReplyDeleteI love you